There's nothing more I need in a woman's eyes It's a lonely, hollow, comforting feeling Finally knowing that I am empowered and can no longer be conned With the promise of something wonderful That will ultimately be paid for In blood and tears I now appreciate all people without any agenda Other than to laugh and share some joy while we are still here And at the heart of it that's all that matters We hide behind so many veils in our youth Playing roles that can't be sustained Even the greatest actors can only summon up King Lear Once a night Free at last I thought God almighty free at last All I wanted was peace And some joy And someone to share the good times with But each candidate brought their carriage of problems Their hurt caused by another Their suspicions caused by another Their jealousy caused by another With no one to take it out on but me So what should've been joyous times were ruined Laughter replaced by tears Kindness viewed with cynicism Until it was turned into something nasty That could only be understood by them And this was called a relationship Others would deem it a prison Some, hell It reduced life to a death And made fools of those who had craved it I still believe in some things But less by the day I wonder how much of us must whither Before we pass away? I am not a killer And yet the faces of several people who have used me Flash through my mind every day I am considered a kind man By some, a strong man And yet I could kill a handful of people without a thought Maybe most of us could With a clear conscience As we would write it off As a public service Our act would save other good souls From being exploited and then Thrown away to be useless Having given them mansions So that we could settle down on someone else's couch While they rewrote history to alienate the ones you loved The most Yet they weren't charged with your murder? But perhaps justice is yet to be served And if we took it upon ourselves to render it Would the government not erect statues to us? They would've in bygone days Some people don't deserve to be called human They don't act it, they don't think it, they don't care They love to destroy other people's lives and values and then leave others to deal with the mess They are spiritual vampires Why should they be allowed to get away scott free Sipping their white wine Repeating other people's opinions Only to laugh And destroy another day Another life? I missed my calling I should've been Wyatt Earp or Bat Masterson Riding the range With the power to take or give life Where and how I saw it But instead of a badge and a revolver I was given a suit and a tie And an expectation of what I had to achieve In a gentleman's world I failed Because of those I let into my life with their promises of "This will be fun" and "I will always love you" and "Thank you so much for your kindness, it won't be forgotten" But it was by the next day Which brings me back to the gun And why I am lost Between the cracks of right and wrong Watch your step Night is falling I'm considering becoming Jewish Just so I'll know where my home is (c) Frank Howson 2017 photograph by Vanessa Allan.