BERLIN IN RUBBLE

I remember raindrops
I remember a child
I remember that look of yours
When we were young and wild
I drink to forget these days
And sing songs without hooks
As I search for my shirt
And go to burn some books

I remember outrage
I remember the shock
We stupidly thought we were free
As we danced 'round the clock
You made a beautiful bride
While I made a mess of things
We could not be enslaved
By the confines of rings

And yet I get sentimental
Every time I stumble
And in every reflection
I see Berlin in rubble

I remember lamb chops
I remember a road
I remember how much I loved
Before the teardrops flowed
I drove to Hollywood
While you drove me insane
Nowadays I'll be found
Among mementos of pain

And yet I get sentimental
Every time I stumble
And in every reflection
I see Berlin in rubble

I had a winning regime
Before Russia in the fall
In case you were wondering
In case I missed your call

And yet I get sentimental
Every time I stumble
And in every reflection
I see Berlin in rubble


(c) Frank Howson 2020





DEAR WORLD

Dear World,

It has been quite an interesting stay here, but I feel I must be on my way.
I've always been quite anxious about overstaying my welcome. An overthrow
of too many years on the boards.

Whilst here I have met some truly beautiful people, by beautiful I mean in 
spirit, who have inspired me and been kind to me. Most are dead now and I
miss them deeply. 

Unfortunately, I have also met an abundance of cunts who have left me broken 
in spirit and in pocket. Horrendous people whom not even Mr. J. Christ,
formerly of Nazareth, could find it in his heart to forgive. Their actions 
discredit everyone and they think the human race is some perverse sporting 
event where someone has to win by any means necessary and every other
person has to lose. When I discovered this truth I sold my running shoes
and took a seat in the bleachers. The only thing those deluded competitive
bastards have won is a place in hell. Their names are on the doorlist. 

And what's with the fucking weather? Earthquakes, tidal waves, volcanic 
eruptions, tornadoes, torrential storms and bullshit vomiting from my TV 
set every night?

You can also stick your cooking shows, and your expert political analysts 
explaining the politics of the day to me via their own fucking bias agendas,
up your arse! If you have one?

It's enough to send a person mad. 

And how come after many thousands of years some people still judge others on
the shade of their skin? Are you kidding me? Evolution? Zip. The other day 
I saw a prejudiced old cunt walking a black dog that he called "Sweetie"! 
So, racism doesn't apply to the shade of animals, only people? Well let's 
look at each other as animals and we might learn to be kinder. 

Beam me up, Scotty. There's very little intelligent life down here. The 
proof of that is aliens may fly past us but there's no way they
want to make contact with barbaric rednecks. They've seen what we do to 
each other. What the hell would we do to little green aliens?

But don't get me wrong, dear World. I have enjoyed some aspects of my stay
here. Mainly the simple things. Coming home to a warm meal and a happy
family; an open fire; being able to help a friend in need; the blissful
ignorance of youth; the look in someone's eyes when they believe in you; the
beautiful lies of lovers; and the true love of parents who allowed me to be
me, even though they must've known the price that would eventually cost. 

I walk through crowds every day on city streets and all I see are the long
faces of the disappointed. As though each face is one big teardrop.

The world has certainly been an interesting place to visit. Just not sure
I can live here. 


(c) Frank Howson 2019

Photograph by Vanessa Allan. 







THE INSANITY OF THE TRUTH

Don't stop me from having some fun
Fun is in such short supply these days
When I was a child nothing made sense
And the school system shut me out
I was too busy dealing with things at home
To be expected to think during classes
All the lessons I needed to learn were there
Within my family
And I soon excelled at observation
And the devastating power of words
Achieving an A every year
My senses heightened to love
And other dangers
So I befriended broken people
Some were too broken and betrayed me
So they could claim credit for breaking me some more
But others bloomed when they received the loyalty
Of a friend
And I was nothing if not loyal
For loyalty has been my greatest gift
And my deepest flaw
It has undone me many times
In the light of day
The most important thing we can learn
Is that we know very little
We can send men to explore the outer realms of space
And yet so much of us is unchartered
If the moon landing was faked
It is probably the most revealing comment one
can make about human beings
God would smile at our arrogance
Attempting to create on such a grand scale for ants
It seems, to me, that it's not what we do that counts
Anymore
It's what we appear to do
So, perhaps we have finally accepted
The truth
That we are just B grade actors
On a huge soundstage created by the Almighty
And each day we rise to go through the motions
And play our roles as convincingly as possible
For the amusement of God
You see, the poor bastard is so bored
Living in the great darkness he shares with Satan
Where there is no time
And not even the relief of commercial breaks
In my opinion that would make sense
Of the nothingness
And we'd at last know who we are
And where we are
Like the Joker
One has to go insane to see 
the insanity of the truth


(c) Frank Howson 2019

I REMEMBER YOU

I remember you
Even more painful, where and when
You told me when it was over
That you'd find me again
So you searched all the hostels
Inhabiting lonely men
I was killed by your mouth
You were killed by my pen

I told you I liked chocolates
So you bought me a cigar
You have a cruel talent
For pushing me too far
I remember walking miles
While you passed me in your car
The same one I'd bought you
When you became my star

Now the years are conspiring
To drive me insane
Along with some of my friends
Who only deal in pain
So let me spell it out
To you nice and plain
My dance is slowly fading
And it failed to bring you rain

I'll soon be gone like Jesus
To never come again
You nailed me to your cross
And made me watch you with other men
They all hurt and manhandled you
And I shed tears for my precious friend
But you stood with them and mocked me
I should've known how it would end

(c) Frank Howson 2019

UNTIL THE BROKEN HEARTS HEAL

Let us kneel and say our prayers
That something hears our call
We think too deep
And we see nothing at all
Rome wasn't built in a day
But I bet it took an hour to fall

Let us not weary in our cause
Until we right the wrong
A place is not a home
Until you feel you belong
A country isn't great
Until it looks after its own
To value true friendship
You must walk many miles alone
Let us not rush to condemn
Until we know what's real
Let us try a little kindness
Until the broken hearts heal

Let us not worship false gods
Like money or power
For we will see their futility
In our final hour
And when we face the truth
May we hold our heads up high
And know we did our best
And that the seeds of those deeds won't die
And that the judgement we're given
Can't be argued or repealed
For the best of us did not rest
Until the broken hearts healed


(c) Frank Howson 2019 

Photograph by Frank Howson 2019 Mui Wo.

SO WE CALLED IT LOVE

There used to be stars

Before we pulled them down

We used to have leaders

Who were mentally sound

There used to be a gift

From up above

We didn’t know what it was 

So we called it love


There used to be care

For our fellow man

When friends were in trouble

We’d try and lend a hand

It’s now considered weak

And out of date

So we look the other way

And we call it fate 

 

The older we get

The more we forget what we’ve been taught

By all the friends we squandered 

And all the dreams we bought 

We toss and we turn

We live and dont learn 

Stumbling in the dark

And shooting from the lip

Until we wake to find

It all comes to zip 

 

There used to be Dreams 

That got us through the night

Some called us lucky 

Until we missed our flight

And we’d lost every girl 

By the final reel

Too old to try again

And too scared to feel

 

(C) Frank Howson 2019

x 

A JOYFUL WOMAN

We tried to live a simple life in a complex world. Surrounded by all the dangers, temptations, frustrations and good intentions gone south. We had a simple love, in that sweet naive time before the reptilians took over and the war designed to have no end began. 

All I knew was that I loved you, and you loved me. Nothing much else mattered. And if the world we knew came to an end, I’d love you in the next too. 

Your beautiful face and inner joy were the only drugs I needed to keep going.  You made me smile. You made me dance. You made me hope for more when I’d given up hoping. 

Each day we’d plow the fields, sowing for the harvest that would keep us full during the winter months. 

Life was good and the people we knew were fun. Until they weren’t anymore. But they weren’t as lucky as us and life made them bitter. 

Sometimes I’d whisper your name in a reverential prayer when my road narrowed and  the nights became too dark to see ahead. 

 Some people became envious of our joy and sought to steal it, foolishly thinking they could replicate the recipe, but they burnt the base. 

They burnt us too. 

These days I don’t punish myself by thinking of love, and have accepted my life of solitude. Sometimes we have to sacrifice joy to obtain wisdom. Sometimes I long to be a happy fool again. For there is a penalty in knowing too much. 

My wisdom has told me that angels must leave. They weren’t meant to be chained to this mortal earth, or to us flawed humans. And so, it is as it should be. Fly on, my darling, fly on. It was all my fault, dreaming that I could keep you. 

But perhaps our time will come. Again. And I’ll not awaken my wisdom, and instead, pretend I don’t know the ending. 

And so on. And so on. 

 

(C) Frank Howson 2019