Out of the darkness And into light We face a blank canvas And call it a life Our hand tracing lines Adding colour here and there Some of us choose to be bold While some of us never dare So how much am I bid For this crazy life I've lived? Do you find it too frivolous or too bleak? Does it move you to tears? Or does it look like wasted years? This painting has cost me more than I dare speak Lost in a city Lost in a crowd I don't speak till I get drunk And then I get too loud Your beautiful face I have captured it by hand But you denied me your heart And cut me down where I stand I have painted sorrow And sometimes joy But cocktails in a gallery Won't bring back my boy So I'll paint him from memory From the time he called me dad Some of us paint our mistakes While some of us just go mad (c) Frank Howson 2018 Painting by Frank Howson.
You tell a story about an old cowboy's kindness And they will ask you "What was his agenda?" This reveals to you that their concept of kindness Is that it's a tool of opportunism They are bitter that they are unknown And yet they don't do anything That would warrant attention For it is too scary to tread where only the brave venture As they may well be exposed And the reality that their dream may just be an delusion Is too confronting To think about When they have the safety of resenting other And hold the weaponry to ruin what should've been Your most joyful night Anyone's triumph makes them angry But they can't admit that to others As that would expose them So they invent an excuse But still want to get into your exclusive party So that they can lose you and work the room How they can submerge their hypocrisy From themselves takes a lot of practice And denial They will tell your friends that they are not with you Unless of course that excludes them from an opportunity They are unwilling to learn where they go wrong So they are doomed to never change Living off others' kindness Taking it But then putting it down when it suits Scavengers Parasites Hawks do not share As we've been told Even changing their faith if they think that will buy Them an opportuntity So, lying in the face of God confirms Their true underlying belief in nothing And no one Other than themselves They will succeed in taking all the joy from your life And rendering you to being catatonic Sitting staring out a window Watching the birds in free flight There is no insurance for those Who allow the Lloyds to put a value on their existence And the night is long And you are so confused In this joyless space (c) 2018 Frank Howson
The living are always under attack from the dead. As night follows day so do those of darkness target those of light and stalk them with words of hero worship when, the truth is, the mere existence of those with a spark irritates them and they consciously or, in some cases, subconsciously, work toward the extinguishment of that flame. Wilhelm Reich writes about this condition in detail in his book The Murder of Christ.
The people of darkness use many tools to bring down the envied. Negative rumours, stories that are unfounded in fact, and a whole range of politically acceptable words to discredit their target i.e., Narcissist (this applies to anyone who is successful in showbiz who uses social media to promote their latest ventures) because the fact that someone may actually be getting off their fat ass and doing something reminds the person of darkness how meaningless and unfocused their own life is; Nazi (it is acceptable in today’s politically correct world to call anyone with an opposing opinion this and get away with it. This is disgustingly outrageous and unfair to their target whose only crime may be to have an original thought, as well as, obviously, making light of what the real Nazis did). But let me not bring logic into this lest I be called names. Anti-Semitic is a good one too in some cases. I have even witnessed Jewish people being called anti-Semitic because they dared to have an opinion that didn’t sit comfortably with the party line. Such is the out of control world we live in where the militant wheel gets oiled first and the logical debate is not only not considered it is condemned. Here we have a perfect storm for the people of darkness to not only hide within, but thrive.
Bob Dylan has predicted for some time now that we have entered the end game. Anyone who has studied theology and the predictions of the old prophets would have to concur. In my opinion we are currently engaged in the final war between good and evil, darkness and light, and the shadow people are only going to get more and more hysterical as things don’t go their way. They are currently very confused as to why things aren’t going the way of the Polls. Could it be divine intervention?
It is difficult to untangle yourself from a person of darkness because they are cling ons – spiritual vampires sucking your energy. And the more you give them the more resentful they will become towards you. For even your kindness is an irritation. A reminder of what they are not. They will insult you by praising strangers and even abusing and opportunistic ex-partners above your efforts to help, give and support. This is to make you crazy and so confused you will cease to be able to function and end up zombie like staring out a window into the light that was once your source. Do not under any circumstances feed them. Let well enough alone. Danger and madness this way comes.
(C) Frank Howson 2017
We're like the dogs Who shy away from your touch Some of us bite When we've been hurt too much We try to forget But we never can The inhumanity And cruelty of man Some are like cats Who tend to love with reserve Dogs wag their tails While the cats just observe Dogs try to help us But cats know they can't For dogs think we are Gods While cats know that we aren't (c) Frank Howson 2017 Lantau, Hong Kong.
Becoming the Director of the Melbourne Underground Film Festival is something I had not lobbied for or ever desired. But given Richard Wolstencroft’s recent sudden departure and his request to take over the helm, it is something I couldn’t refuse as the Festival is now bigger than any one person and for it to cease to exist would be, in my opinion, a tragedy for the industry. It fills a very important role in shining a light on the next generation of Australian filmmakers and in its 18 years of existence it has discovered a number of people who have gone onto receive international success.
Years ago when I was a young creative person trying to break into the film business it was almost impossible. It seemed, at that time, to be a closed shop with the same ol’ same ol’ people getting the grants and making the movies. And of course, those who were benefitting from the system were certainly very reluctant to let new blood in. Many of those people never encouraged the next generation of talent and we have been paying for that for some time now. Who knows how many brilliant young creatives got frustrated by the red tape and closed doors, gave up and walked away. It made me all the more determined that if I broke through then the least I could do would be to help others achieve the same. And so I did. Even though at the height of my success I was making 5 films a year (in some cases shooting a movie whilst I was in post-production of the last one and pre-production of the next), yet, I still made time to meet and give advice to any young filmmaker who phoned asking for help. I am proud that my company gave several directors their first chance to direct a movie, along with giving breaks to young editors, music composers, actors, costume designers, etc., etc.
In fact I remember giving the young Richard Wolstencroft his first chance to direct a 35mm movie, which starred the very young Lachy Hulme. Although in my long and varied career I have won quite a few awards, I can say in all honesty that nothing gives me more joy than the knowledge that I helped several people into the industry who went onto achieve international recognition.
It saddens me that Richard has had to relinquish his directorship of the Melbourne Underground Film Festival so suddenly and in such circumstances. It was his creation and for 18 years his baby and I have some understanding of the pain involved in having to walk away from that. Hopefully with the passing of time people will choose to remember his contribution and achievements rather than some ill-conceived and ill-timed remarks that I know he is extremely and sincerely sorry for having made. In the words of the great director Billy Wilder, “A man is as good as the best thing he did, not the worst.”
In my opinion the mark of how far we have spiritually evolved in this life is measured by our capacity to humble ourselves by owning up and apologizing for our wrongs and, in other cases, to forgive. The latter takes an awful lot of evolving to reach.
Under my directorship at the Melbourne Underground Film Festival, I will continue to spotlight new and exciting local talent, and select movies that take risks, that inspire and inform us, confront us, thrill us, and celebrate our humanity towards people of diversity. I do not undertake this leadership for ego reasons, or financial gain, but see it as a service to the industry and the community that original voices are discovered and given the forum to be heard, and debated, as well as the opportunity to go on.
I look forward to steering a new look Melbourne Underground Film Festival to an exciting future for filmmakers and cinema goers alike, and I hope you will support my efforts by submitting your work and attending our screenings. Let’s defeat apathy and build a healthy and diverse film industry one brick at a time.
Submissions will be open in January for our 19th Festival.
In this business of show The best advice I can give is Don't take no for an answer Your work will be judged by idiots And by genius And guess what? Sometimes they all get it wrong And if all these experts know everything Then how come they make so many flops? Your greatest guide And you must protect it Is your instinct For those of us who believe in a higher power I believe our instinct is God talking to us But guess what? Most times we second guess ourselves And go against it Or allow ourselves to be talked into doing Something that doesn't feel right And the end result is always disaster And recriminations If everyone followed sound advice And stuck to the tried and true formula We'd have had no DaVinci Or Glenn Gould Nikola Tesla Or Picasso Marlon Brando Beatles Elvis Hitchcock Bob Dylan David Lynch Breaking Bad And so on and so on... The Beatles were told that "Guitar bands are out of fashion" Tesla was told that "his ideas wouldn't fly" Yet he lit up the world And in return it broke his heart Elvis was threatened with jail if he continued to rock the boat And Dylan was laughed at as a freak I'm not saying that sticking to your inner voice Wont be a difficult road It will be But when was anything worth having easy? All the people I have mentioned had only one thing in common Persistence Fuelled by a total self belief Don't get me wrong I'm not saying don't listen to good advice Do For only a fool turns their back on a good idea But trust your own instinct as to what is right for you And what isn't My mother once told someone that if you want Frank to do Something for you just ask him and he will But order him to do it And he'll do the opposite just to piss you off So I guess I was born with a rebel soul And all I know is this Every time I was told "You'll never make a film because you haven't made one before. So go home and forget about it, sonny, and leave it to the experts" It somehow made me stronger and more determined to prove them wrong Every time I was told "Don't bother trying to get that big name star For your movie, because it won't happen" It did Or "You can't make a film about that because it's too personal and no one will get it other than you" That was the one the people responded to In an era that I believe is the darkest age for movies When they are only making films about comic books Don't give up Where some see a wasteland Others sees a golden opportunity Never before has an original idea been such a valuable commodity Be bold and mighty forces join you The future belongs to you If you are brave enough And strong enough And stubborn enough to grasp it And to those who are We at the Melbourne Underground Film Festival Salute you (SPEECH DELIVERED AT THE 2017 MELBOURNE UNDERGROUND FILM FESTIVAL) (c) Frank Howson 2017
She appeared in the half light Of the room Suddenly the space feels smaller Her tight dress hugging her body Like the imagination of many men Revealing enough of her ample cleavage To start a riot She is hesitant at first Not yet seizing her control of the situation Scanning the large studio Taking in every detail like an experienced assassin Her eyes finally settling on you And exuding all the electricity Of a holy prophet She asks how long she will be needed And you tell her all afternoon Suppressing the urge to say "forever" She smiles ever so slightly As she reads your mind She then says "How do you want me?" Now you know she is playing you And the game is afoot You slowly walk to her And stand behind her body Unzipping her into freedom Letting her dress fall to the floor There are no undergarments to bother with And suddenly Unexpectedly She is revealed to you Naked except for the high heels Looking down you take in everything Trying to etch it into your memory Forevermore The wonder of this moment And the privilege And although you are behind her She feels the heat of your stare And is energised And empowered by it Stealing the last of your strength You are now in checkmate She smiles to herself The hunter and the hunted The lines now blurred She has you As you slowly circle her seeing everything she has While she stands there proudly defiant Like a Goddess You want to hear her cry out In payment For her sins But that will have to wait You are no longer commanding the moves As you stand before her Humbled Maybe broken As those who stand in awe In front of the world's great works of art You look up and lock eyes with her And this is the most intimate moment of all And you flinch Lowering your eyes to her perfect lips You have never hungered for anything more Than to kiss them And her body knows it Standing there a second longer Would cause you to take her With the force of a leopard Devouring its prey But you have no strength left in your body You are done As you turn to walk back to the blank canvas Waiting on your easel You select your paintbrush And already defeated Attempt to capture Her beauty Before the light fades (c) Frank Howson 2017